Pity party alert.
What: A way of experiencing grief, in which you spend entirely too much time feeling sorry for yourself.
When: 9:45am every day until further notice.
Where: Angie’s house, specifically Angie’s guest room. Must wear ugly oversized sweatpants that would fit over a 10 pound, archaic, plaster cast, like the one on Angie’s leg. Don’t come to the party overdressed or Angie won’t let you in. Oh she probably can’t let you in anyway because it will take her 28 minutes to get to the front door..
Why: Because if you’re gonna feel sorry for yourself, you might as well go big. I mean, c’mon, you’re already stuck at home.
Text string some time last week, the days are starting to merge together.
A: pity party time
A: seems to happen at 9:45 every morning
A: just so u know
A: oh and it’s going to be a rager today
A: u may not want to miss it
A: i have party favors, i might have some tequila, there’ll definitely be some tears
A: it‘s going to be a really good one
A: too bad u r going to miss it
A: ok you missed it
17 minutes later
L: ahhh, was at whole foods
L: sorry i missed it
L: i’ll be there tomorrow at 9:45
L: want anything while i’m still here?
L: almond butter? peanut butter?
L: and did u order the dress you were shopping for on-line?
L: oh no
L: where r u?
L: u in pity mode again?
L: it might be too soon for another party
L: is that why you’re not answering me?
So, there have been a lot of pity parties at Angie’s place this week.
But no need to worry, they’re more party than pity.
But the concept got us thinking.
When you feel a pity party coming on, it somehow feels better to acknowledge it, to announce it out loud, maybe just to yourself, so you’re aware of exactly what’s happening. Might go something like this - an emotion starts to feel overwhelming - it starts in your stomach and moves to your heart and feels hard to get your head around. And you fall apart a little. Maybe a lot. Maybe it doesn’t matter how much. Because that depends on the gravity of the situation. But you know that it doesn’t feel good to stay on the floor for too long. That you want to get up and try to do something a little different, to find a way to redirect your feelings. Maybe you label it and call it something that doesn’t feel quite as bad as falling apart. Angie likes to overuse the phrase pity party, mostly because it has the word party in it. But truth is, she’s just trying to get off the floor and turn her stuck-at-home-cranky-self-not-allowed-to-put-weight-on-her-left-leg situation into something resembling lemonade.
In the midst of pity party #729 women start arriving at Angie’s place, one at a time, they don’t really know each other, and each thinks she’s in for a quick visit. Little did they know.
Conversation that went down and no we’re not going to name names. Unless you twist our arms and then we’ll name names.
A: ok, so this is a lot better than sitting here alone
A: even if i know this is temporary
B: it feels terrible, i know
A: helps to throw pity parties for myself
A: at 9:45 am and 5:45 pm every day for the foreseeable future
A: but now that you guys know what’s going on over here
A: can we move on to something happier?
A: maybe something that doesn’t include me playing mind tricks on myself?
L: well, this is kinda moving on and kinda not
L: but speaking of mind tricks
L: have any of you been in the girls bathroom at the high school lately?
B: omg i was just there at a basketball game
B: and everyone in there is doing the same thing
L: and by same thing, do u mean pushing each other out of the way to stand in front of the skinny mirror?
B: that’s exactly what i mean
B: and i swear i think the mirror at bar method, the one to the left of the door, is a skinny mirror
L: omg we had the best skinny mirror at a beach house i once rented
L: it was a big group of us, 3 families, and it rained the whole week
L: and we spent way too much time crammed inside a closet craning our necks to get a look
J: isn’t it a known thing that we all have dysmorphic views of ourselves?
C: it’s kind of like no one likes their own voice when they hear it back
B: that’s so true
B: it’s like we just don’t see ourselves as we really are
J: wait, there’s a skinny mirror in the high school girls bathroom?
J: let’s go over there right now
J: we can throw angie in the car
J: she’ll be fine
Skinny mirrors. Pity parties. Hmmm.
This feels like mind over matter.
In a good way.
There’s no shame in fooling yourself.
In spite of the fact that you know exactly what you’re doing.
Especially if you know exactly what you’re doing.
Text string last week, the days are starting to merge together. Still.
L: omg i just found an old picture i’m obsessed with
L: i was taking snapchat selfies with ellie
L: and we used the pretty filter
L: have u seen it?
A: as you know
A: i don’t have a daughter
A: or, as it turns out, a son who has taught me about pretty filters
A: but without knowing anything
A: i think i already love it
A: let me see it
L: [sends pic - see our insta story for real pic]
A: omg that’s amazing
A: do u always get to wear a flower wreath on your head?
A: how do i do that?
A: oh no
A: it’s almost 9:45
A: and u know what that means